Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
It was the first book that I read all the way through when I was a teenager and because of that experience, I realized that I could read. And that experience, ignited of love for reading despite having challenges with dyslexia.
The story taught me how to be brave on life’s journey and that life is filled with good and bad people. And it was OK to be frightened at times on life’s journey, but the important thing was to continue walking on the road.
That’s a very good question. My answer is battling the fear of perfection because we live in a society where everything has to be perfect according to the culture. Here are some examples: the perfect home, the perfect relationship, the perfect family, the perfect pet, and the perfect career.
I believe the fear comes from realizing that you cannot meet that expectation of having the perfect life. Homes will be messy, relationships require work, careers have up and downs, and pets grow old and start having health issues.
Once I realized that perfection is a lie created to sell products or pushing a narrative about issues. I started seeing my life in a different perspective and realized I don’t have to be perfect. I just need to do things to the best of my ability.
The one piece of advice that I would give my 20-year-old self is to learn to love your space despite your circumstances. As I mentioned in my recent podcast on May 7 of 2023 that I didn’t love my space.
It didn’t help ADHD/ADD was affecting my organizational skills. People made judgments saying I was lazy, and I didn’t care. Dealing with RA (rheumatoid arthritis) flared up that almost crippled me. So, I had a lot of resentment towards my space because I thought there was a major flaw with me.
The never-ending cycle of purging items, which I thought was cleaning. Then in a few weeks, the cluttered would return, adding to my resentment.
I didn’t understand was how the RA was impacting my life during a flare-up. Just doing the necessary chores, that was it. What I needed in those times was help and compassion.
Instead, I blamed myself for circumstances that were out of my control. Resentment continued to build towards my space as hopelessness settled in.
I wasn’t flawed.
I had the wrong ideas about clutter and organization.
Then one day, I realized that people who had organized homes and kept them maintained; actually, loved the space that they lived in and wanted the best for them and their families.
By loving my space that I admitted I deserved a clean, welcoming environment, and a peaceful sanctuary from the rest of the world. And that I needed to create a system that functioned for my lifestyle.
Alexandra Mars 